2013-01-22 │转载:2012这一年网络总结语录!

作者:逍遥乾坤 | 发表时间:2013-01-22 16:37:56 | 分类:杂七杂八 | 阅读:8721 | 评论:4113
2012这一年
1、这一年,“我爸是李刚”拉开了中国人拚爹的序幕,大量的富二代官二代用他们的行动告诉我们:人生最重要的不是你自己,而是你老子。

2、这一年,重庆的打黑运动让我们明白: 电视上经常看到的那些衣着光鲜,人模狗样的公仆,他们往往在下一刻就变成了黑老大。而你是公仆还是黑社会,关键看你有没有站错队。

3、这一年,国与民争利达到高潮,财政收入连创新高,人民饭碗却营养不良。GDP世界第二,百姓收入勉强苟活,房市彻底沦为多数人的浮云。而盛会,依然在一个叫隆重的地方举行。

4、这一年,在苹果砸中牛顿沉寂数百年后, 以数码产品的姿态席卷全球。让我们看到,世界上最遥远的距离是:大家一起出门,有人去买苹果五代,而有人却买不起五袋苹果。

5、这一年,各地下雨全是百年不遇,武汉的海景成为新的城市名片。成都、长沙、南京纷纷在报纸上表示自己是特大号护舒宝,流量再多也不用担心,随即就被老天爷一个无情的耳光扇过去。

6、这一年,高铁恍如一夜之间长满祖国各地 ,人们用高于普车数倍的价格向铁道部购买时间 ,而那些时间充裕的人因普车的取消也不得不买 几个小时,然后在目的地玩,来消磨时间。号 称世界领先的动车出轨了,人们悲怆的发现,吃的、住的、坐的竟没有一种能让人淡定。对于善良 的中国人来说,打酱油比抢碘盐还来得更轻松和毫无风险。

7、这一年,雷公也成了弱势群体,悲催的替铁道部背了黑锅。当我们在盘点中国事故责任 人时,发现他们分别是临时工、临时工、临时工 。。。还有雷公,这时玉帝大叫道:他也是临时 工。

8 、这一年,几万元的校车,装60多个学生。几十万元的公车,装一个领导干部。他们对 医疗不重视,因为他们有高干病房; 他们对教育 不重视,因为他们的孩子留洋; 他们对食品安全不重视,因为他们有特供食品;他们对堵车不重 视,因为他们出行警车开道; 他们对国家未来不 重视,因为他们妻儿已经移民美国! 他们对维稳很重视,因为他们怕失去这些!这就是我们的领导!能买光全世界的飞机,却买不起一辆校车; 能把卫星送入太空, 却造不了一座小桥;能在外国花数亿人民币,却不肯多几所小学;一年能吃掉几十艘航母,却逼着孩子捐出午饭钱。

9、这一年,在中国最牛的事情: 1、车“超载”了,车胎没爆,桥却压塌了。 2、出动万人,击毙一逃犯,数百人立功。3、花1.8亿,塌一大桥,无一人负责。 4、每个倒塌的桥面上,必然趴着数不清的蛀虫。管你塌不塌,捞完走人。 5、也许在中国能安全过桥的只有云南米线了 !

10、这一年的总结我们以一个吃牛肉面的故事结束,某男子去面馆要了一碗牛肉面,可是面上来 后没看到一块牛肉。就气得把老板叫来,牛肉面 怎么没有牛肉?老板淡淡地说:“别拿名字当真 ,难道你还指望从老婆饼里吃出老婆吗?你什么 时候看见人民大会堂里面坐过人民?凡是门口挂 “人民”二字招牌的地方,均岗哨林立,充分体现了“人民”的崇高。这些地方一般都是人民无法随意进出的,像“人民政府”、“人民法院”等等……好 不容易找到一个“人民银行”,还不办理储蓄业务 。只有“人民医院”的门可以随意进出,却是人民 都不愿意进去的地方!!!

二、结尾:
2012年过去,总结起来,跟往年一样:“杯具”的一年,纠结的一年。。。
这年头,部长干了编辑的活,干爹干了老公的活,小三干了纪委的活,城管干了地痞的活,教授干了流氓的活,连黄灯都干了红灯的活,倒是让人活不活?

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